61 lbs and counting

In June 2013, I set a goal to lose 60 lbs. On December 13, 2014, 19 months into my fitness journey, I reached that goal. It was exciting but bittersweet. I had come so far, but was still not physically where I wanted to be.

I think I still have another 15 lbs to lose before I will look pretty lean, but I am not focused on the number on the scale. The weight comes off much slower these days, and I am more concerned about how my body feels and looks, and how clothes fit.

Although I am still working on my physical transformation, I don’t think I have ever talked about the mental and emotional transformation that has accompanied my weight loss. I started my weight loss journey because, quite frankly, I hated myself and I was tired of it. I didn’t like the way I looked, I didn’t like the way I felt, and I also wasn’t very happy with other life circumstances at the time.

Last year, there was a period where I feel like I really didn’t know what I looked like. I barely recognized myself in photos, and when I looked in the mirror or at my body, I still felt like the 224 lb version of myself. I just smiled and said thank you when people told me how great I was looking, because I didn’t see what they were seeing. When I was shopping for clothes, I would grab things that looked like they fit, and they were enormous. Things that fit looked so small, I didn’t understand how they could fit my body. There was a big disconnect between what was happening to my body and how I was seeing myself. It was very confusing and frustrating. I still struggle with this sometimes, but I find taking photos every few months and comparing them helps a lot.

Besides the weight loss, lots of other changes happened in my life from 2013-2014. I graduated from college, landed a permanent job with the government, got my own place, and joined a board of directors. It sounds cliché, but I truly feel like I have reached a new stage in my life and have found happiness. I think the weight loss ties in to all of this because my success in that area of my life motivated me to try and excel at other things, and it gave me a newfound sense of confidence.

Since my last update, I have started lifting heavier and doing less reps. I have noticed my strength has been progressively increasing once again, so my body has been responding positively to this change (thanks to my former trainer Nicole for recommending I give it a try). I have also been using an app (5K Runner) to train for a 5K. I still (and I think I always will) hate cardio, but I want to increase the amount I do so I can be healthy and get leaner faster. And since I’m goal-oriented, setting a goal to run a 5K is motivating. I’m hoping to do one this spring or summer, so I will write about that when I sign up.

I have been receiving a lot of messages from friends and people I meet about what I have done to lose the weight. In particular, people are interested in what I am eating and what exercise routine I am following.

I’m going to write a few blog posts I can refer people to so I can answer their questions. Stay tuned.